In this blog, I want to expand on something I talk about in more detail in my video on selective mutism and sensory sensitivity.
This topic comes up again and again in my work because children with selective mutism are often living in a state of heightened anxiety, and anxiety affects far more than just speech.
Anxiety Lives in the Body, Not Just the Mind
When a child feels anxious, their whole body responds. You might notice that they:
- Start sweating or suddenly feel very cold
- Experience strange sensations, like buzzing or noise in their ears
- Freeze, shut down, or become unable to speak
- Feel overwhelmed in busy or noisy environments
This happens because the amygdala, the brain’s danger detector, is constantly scanning the environment. It brings up memories, images, sounds, smells, and body sensations to answer one question:
“Am I safe?”
For children with selective mutism, that alarm system is often on high alert—especially in places like school.
If you prefer to watch or listen, you can find the video
Selective Mutism and Hypersensitivity
Many (though not all) children with selective mutism are hypersensitive.
In my caseload, this often shows up as:
- Sensitivity to loud or unpredictable noises
- Strong reactions to textures, fabrics, or touch
- Being very selective or cautious with food
- Discomfort with strong smells
This isn’t a flaw—it’s a nervous system that is trying to protect itself.
If we think back to early humans, heightened senses were essential for survival. Strong hearing, smell, and awareness helped detect danger quickly.
The problem is that modern children don’t need that level of alertness, yet their nervous systems behave as if danger is everywhere.
A Practical Strategy: The Sensory Comfort Box
In the video, I talk about a very practical tool I use when working with children: a sensory comfort box.
I often use a simple shoebox filled with different sensory items. There is no right or wrong response—the goal is to explore what helps the child feel calmer and what feels uncomfortable.
Inside the box, I might include:
- Different types of sandpaper (mild to very rough)
- Soft tissue paper
- Play-Doh
- A glove with a rough side and a soft side
- A piece of wood
- A soft, stretchy makeup sponge
- Stones, shells, plastic items, or small toys
Some children love certain textures; others pull away immediately. Both reactions are important.
Smell, Sight, and Emotional Regulation
Smell is a powerful regulator of emotion.
I often include:
- Flowers
- Gingerbread gel
- Eucalyptus oil
- Lemon
- Familiar scents (like a parent’s perfume)
For hypersensitive children, I keep everything optional—sometimes placing scents on cotton wool so they can choose whether to engage.
I also include visual calming images, such as:
- Mountains
- The sea
- Nature scenes
This allows us to support all sensory systems:
- What the child can see
- Smell
- Touch
- Hear
Together, we create a personalised sensory profile that helps the child feel safer in challenging environments.
Creating a Sensory Kit for School
I often suggest creating a small sensory bag or box that children can access at school or nursery.
For older children, this might include:
- A small laminated photo from a holiday or family moment
- A tactile object or fabric
- A discreet fidget for regulation
- A familiar, calming scent
One child even created a fabric keyring with different textures and added scents she loved—vanilla, chocolate, and her mum’s perfume. When she felt lonely or overwhelmed at school, she used it to regulate her body before returning to her work.
That is sensory regulation supporting emotional safety.
Reassurance Without Pressure
Another strategy I talk about is non-verbal reassurance.
This might be:
- A hand squeeze (for example, three squeezes meaning “I love you”)
- A gentle tap
- A shared signal that says, “I’m here”
When a child with selective mutism is asked a question, they don’t need us to speak for them.
They need reassurance—not pressure.
Final Thoughts
Selective mutism is not about stubbornness or refusal to speak.
It is about:
- Anxiety
- A sensitive nervous system
- The need for safety before speech
If you’d like to hear me explain these ideas step by step, you can watch the video here:
👉 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BIKp_m2DLFQ
If you try any of these sensory strategies, I’d love to see them.
Take a photo, share your ideas, or let me know what worked for your child.
And remember:
When the body feels safe, the voice has space to emerge.
With warmth and encouragement,
Anna Biavati
Speech Therapist, Creator of the Brave Muscle Method
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